wahahahahaa. ..........!!! little bear!

for those who think she looks. . . sorry, u may just close your eyes and listen, cos its really nice.

cant wait to watch this~

i hav a colleague who always treat me as "buddy", yes, he is kind of the guy who easily to be friend with, and always try his hard to solve my problem when i was in trouble, be frank, i. . . don really treat him as a good friend but just. . . maybe just colleague, i think im not friend materials cos i always don know how to take the first move, like ask them out for lunch or movie. but this army-boy has been askin me out for weeks but still got rejected, haha, im so impressed by his intention for trying to make friend with me, and, although he is not really my friend type but i somehow see a good deal with him. optimistic, isnt it wat teenagers supposed to hav?

wat a terrible pity. . . to lose yr own dignity, sanity. . . to make such an unforgiveable. . . phone call to tis. . . supposed.to.be.forgotten person? . . . im such a terrible saddy, shameless and perhaps i should said, useless. . . i had a lil chat with my long lost best fren last night, she was so impressed by this pic tat i took in melbourne, she said, no matter how well-done the rest of my pics are, she still stick with this pic cos she has seen the true smiling on my face which is truly come from my heart. . . i was like. . . wordless at da moment cos it is a fact, i wonder could i get tat smile back to my current life? im in doubt. . . and it caused me drowning in endlessly sorrow. . . how could i get it back? how cauld i win it back? could i still? . . . this pics was the most happiness moment in my entire life with my love, but its gone. . . i find so hard to chase it back but just not working. . . as the effort tat i paid. . . just as i try so hard to intimate tis smiling face but wouldnt be the same again, maybe we all hav to move on, perhaps. . . shall we?

y famous?
because im kate moss


but im so into her. . .

i hav a chat with my sister last night, she was preparing some sandwiches for samuel and husband, maybe some corn for linus. . .
cos they were going to spend the whole evening playing sand, glazing sunset on the beach where nearby santa monica, and wat i had in my mind tat moment was,
u guys don hav to be so haelthy! and i heard samuel was asking
for food "more! more" he said, ha, its the only word he know how to said, cute!. . .
the life is like couldnt be more peaceful and make u die for a family just like them asap, well, its just sth im craving for.
my life is as real as britney still remained barred for her kids, i still don know is it a good idea for giving her such a consequences which is utterly cruel for the whole world's mother.
from wat i've read, insider still insist tat brit need to manage her current situation before she has the right to get her kids back. . .well, just like when u still in the state of sadness about yr last relationship, u just can't step into the next relationship in ease, its either a mess or worse if u die to do it. i agree. . .
its about determination. . . we all lack of it to move on and go further, i don wan to be the same again.

such a lost. . . its really been a while for being sad, i still remember i was so in touch with him in brokeback mountain, i cant help sobbing at the last scene as he looking at the pics and crying. . . and now he has dead in reality, what the hell is that? im absolutely heartbreaking. . . .

tragic, im deeply saddened and shocked by this accident, is suicide the only way? god knows. . . .
we will be missing u, heath ledger. . .

wat i've done. . .

im trying to hold,
maybe i tried to hard.

the left side. . .

its 11:45pm, i took the last train to go back my home with full of unwillingness,
guess tis is not the first time i take the last train,
the feelin is like. . . cold but beautiful,
kinda get used to going back with an exhausted body,
so tat i can straight away fall asleep without spending time to think nonsence, absolutely nonsence,
and i finally got to know how could my sister earn such a big buck last time. . .
cos u will find yr heart hav nowhere to put in,
so u only can spend time on yr job. . .
when we found tat the thing is too easy to hold, we tend to overlook it,
we always look forward the one with more challenging and risky,
we like to take risk,
cos we like to bet on miracle and make impossible possible,
again and again.
but i hav tried, fallen from heaven to hell,
cos ive fallen in love with a devil. . .
sacrifice, does it work nowadays?
life is like fallin down and getting up again,
and the changing is when we were young, there is someone who always beside us,
tats our parents. . .
but now, they might not always beside us, some of us hav already learnt the lessons, some of them will,
but it takes longer, tats me. . .
how i wish i could surrender my soul sometimes,
i screamed out loud,
but there is no sound,
and from tat moment, i know tat tears and pain will make no difference,
i got to stand up. . .
im livin in a city with only black and white,
and a lil bit grey, but they always get isolated. . .
job opportunities and money is wat all about,
don't they need love?
maybe they are just doin wat they hav to do. . .

i always think tat i really need a break to freshen up my mind, or maybe, just being lazy. . . after this 4 days break, i hav enough rest and time to do wat i intended to do, well, in the end i kind of. . . screwed it up, i started to realise tat my future is actually starting now, my so called fascinating.happy.ending future. every dollar i earn is for my basic human need. i miss the everything surrounded me, i need someone, i don know who might it be, at least i hav someone specific to talk to when i was alone, or maybe tired lying on the bed and cant even move my limbs but only my mouth, i still able to blame all the thing i've encounted today with u, or, maybe just lean on the shoulders without any words but holding hands. . . or, maybe everytime when i was disturb in wat to eat, at least someone can share thought with me giving me some idea,or there is someone give me a kiss everytime i reached home and makes me feel like everyday will become a thanks giving day, or maybe after the party when everybody has gone, but only u will stay and swicth off the light. . .

i started to taste the tough life when i've finished all my money until my account became zero, i was kind of the way too spendrift the past few weeks, serve me right i supposed, and, again, a friend in need is a friend indeed, all i hav is friendship which always tell me the meaning to keep life go on. . . u hav no idea how clear i've make up my mind for not letting this kind of incident happenned again, i would never, ever, let me feel like this anymore.
when i was still in sch, i took everythings for granted, i even earn the higher "salary" than now, working life is like doing the same thing over and over again, not to mention all the fuck up things tat always happen in office, its really make me wonder y should i deign to do it still.
but, years by years, i understand an undeniable truth, to pay the rent, to buy my food, true, its simple but its just so true than any other things, tats no way for me to ask for money from my parents just like i used to be, when u r at this age, u hav to accept all the consequences tat come with and u got to take responsible on it, the rule is always the same, if u wan to live better, work harder.. .

am i broken?
ive been changing,
from a kid who desire for love,
to a guy who has no idea what the love is.
i feel bad to ignore yr every call,
u must be going freaky,
but dont u think tat i would be the most selfish person
if i pick it up?
i were so u not so long ago,
i hav truly seen, experienced everything.
we r all nice person,
why should we get stuck?

to the one who wonder why he/she need to go to work/school tomorro...

life is short,
break de rules,
forgive quickly,
kiss slowly,
love truly,
laugh uncontrollably,
and never regret anythin tat make u smile. . .

wats the point to keep the key if the one who behind the door isnt the same again?