i received a call tat night, from someone who lived in my heart. . .

i enjoy the moment to be with all the unread books. . .




hows my new hair color?

i received a gift from my fren. . . i've never meet him before, and i don really know about him, but it was exvited, i mean the mood o open it up, there was a bit happiness arise in my heart, i've been a long time never received a gift, thanks and i appreciate it. . .

有時候,生活就是那麼的身不由己,
總是被約束得連頭髮長一些也不可. . .
很想为一件小事而瘋狂.
人畢竟有了目標,
生活才會變得有意義,
期待那件小事的到來,
也期待自己的開始. . .

i'm so tired. . . my body and my limbs seem like out of my control, they need a break, so do i, my working lofe is like repeating the same thing over and over again. . .at least i got something, 'fun is something tat u have to chase for or it won't come to automatically. . .so i've decide to looking for fun. :)

'i'm very silly. i like to just have fun and be silly and say pretty much whatever comes into my mind, do whatever what i want.'
by Tom Ford

i admire the person who spent their whole life to achieve sth they interested in, even if just a every little thing, but i really do, and i can see the satisfaction in their eyes, i don need a bangalow or SLK, but looking for an internal satisfaction, and i would feel weathier than all the rich guy, maybe u will say im just deceiving myself but, its true, everybody has their point of view. . .

i like partying but afraid of eyebag,
i like being cool but hate the feeling of smoking,
i like the mood of relaxing but not boring,
i like music tat isn't everybody gonna like,
i like movie but nobody i would like to go with,
i like being unique but normal sometime,
i'm an attention seeker but hope to be invisible sometime,
i like beach but tan skin,
i like excitement but desiring a commitment,
i don't like working but it could pick up the bill,
i like star but i know it just a frozen stone. . .
most of the time i live in the middle ground. . .
because i don like thing to be sure,
think should be changeable and flexible,
i don like yes or no,
i don like black or white. . .i could be colourful. . .

in a land of zero degree, with neither east nor west, has neither day nor night, which is neither cold nor warm, i learn th feeling of exile. . .

i. . urm. . . sort of feel like im the way rely on my parents too much. . . tats no doubt feeling secure to be wit them, i feel awesome to be their son and i appreciate the everything they gave me, but it linked me to my awful experience somehow. . . i find tat teenagers are living in the century tat needn't worry about food, they take everything for granted as wat they got, and, undeniable, im the one of them. . .when i was a kid, i don hav to bother wheres the money comes from, i don even know my dad's occupation, i dare to tell everybody i hav everything tat every kids have, in fact, im not living in a wealthy family, but my parents always give their all to me, but i didn't cherish it. . . i used to be a top student in our class, i studied in the A class, i won so many prizes in drawing and sport competition,i feel like everything is under my control, things is under my expectation and as smoth as i thought. all it seem like so-good things has finally come to an end, u won't be so lucky all the time, u can't control everything by yr little hand, u just don't. . . i can't face the existance of ostacles, i can't except it and keep struggling, im wondering if tat wasn't mine, tat wasn't deserve to wat i supposed to have. . .i lost myself. . .obviously, i just overlooked myself, i think i would have the marvellous ending once i tried hard to make it, but i just wrong, too rush to see the outcome is one of the most weakness of teenagers, changing mind in every sec just because of afraid to face the failure. . .look back my past, i have all the things tat everybody die for, but i became extremely upset when things just cant help go on my way. i still remember wat my sister told me, 'your sorrow is come from your wonderful chilhood, u can't stand with failure because u've never lost. . .', yeah, she is right, all the seemingly in style teenagers actually fragile inside, i can see loneliness and purposeless in their eyesthey keep desiring people would give their all to them just like the way their parents did, and they got nothing in the end. . .
im da person who feel lost always, i always think tat im small, im too small to make a difference, but i truely understand what does 'Rome is not built in a day' meanswhen u feel like the dream is too far away, mind yr step, and enjoy the journet of achieving, when the hurdles keep coming out continuously, beyond it bravely, and yr dream will be there.

my finaly coming off day is wit my sassy girlfren lychee, its fun but short though, our conversation hasn't come to an end but she has to rush back for accompany her bibi,but im not jeolous at all. i'm the most hated one by all my fren's boyfriends, lol, whatecer, but i will respect their choise, we still r frens

it's another exhausted night for me, i'm so tired of struggling in tis society, anyhow, it's a must to walk through all tis i suppose. . .
i have a friend, we've been friend for ages, we spent most of the time together and always hang out together, but somehow, the years has past, we both are facing the obstacles and without anyone to rely on, and i keep praying for tis fren to have the shoulder who is wide enough to cry on, i keep thinkin tat the one she is being with is the one she chase for, but the quarrel night has ruinned all the fabulous, i know hows the feeling to keep going on a relationship with an invisible scar, maybe she is too young, in fact, she is young, it's too early for her to own all the good things, im not fit to say anything about them, maybe, perhaps, i just truly saw my past on her, i hope tat evrything will be alright soon. . .

and which one will be our new seven wonders?? i wonder. . .

both of us were sharing a blue shadow, we have the same thought, same decision, but in the differrent experiences. . .

suicide virgin, haha

i received these pic from my bro-in-law last night, and i bet my parents would die to see tis, anyway, i found tat samuel is growing faster than i expected, its a good things though, he already became a boy instead of a baby, but i somehow feel tat is some dissapointment for not seeing him as he is growing up. . . and, ridiculous thought again, i did feel like wan to hav a baby in someday! lol, should i? could i?

i draw tis pic while i was working, and wat i can get after i finished it was, i still can draw, haha, mm, not bad huh?!

another chill-out night wit my sisi frens. . .some frens which are sharing the same sense of humour. . . wit nice circumtances and interesting conversation

又是一个该睡却还没睡得晚上，
听到了一句话，“当我最需要你是，你在哪里？”
曾几何时，我问过这句话。。 。
你知道吗？哭多了，眼睛是会坏掉的，我很庆幸自己旱能看见这世界，看见家人，看见自己。。 。
只要我还能看见，我就能重新活过一次。
原来，醒来可以是那么一瞬间的事，当我看见你眼里已没有我时。。 。
我就在那一秒内，醒过来了。。 。
剩下的，是接受。。 。
没有后悔那一晚的见面，
世界上唯一能让人醒过来的东西就是现实。
人类常常逃避现实，所以醒不来。。。
的确，我变得胆小了，
相信美好是一件多么幸福的事，
但一个我最信赖的人让我知道，相信是很无知的。。
我承认，我并没有放下，
而事实上，我没想过放下，也不可能。。 。
但我想念的，已不是他了。。
我想念的，是过去的幸福。。 。
是真是假，我不知道，反正也不重要。
当我再次看见他时，心中有一丝感叹。。 。
感叹自己放错了真心。。 。
成听说过，只要你相信，你一定会做到，
但要在对的人身上。。 。
我想，我要重新学习如何去相信。
直到现在，我还是很伤心曾经有一个这么难过得自己。
碎了满地的心我一片一片拾起，
捡了由跌，跌了由捡。。 。
但我重来没有放弃过，
我重来没放弃过让自己好起来。。 。
多久没有幸福的感觉，
早晨被人吻醒的感觉比一切都美好，
我发现，人的背后特别需要安全感，特别需要一个扶持。
所以当有人从背后抱着你时。 。 。感觉很好。。 。
那晚的见面我发现你已习惯了我的伤心，
你已经能够接受我的眼泪而不心疼，
那时候，我才知道，
是时候放手了。。 。
这么久以来，断断续续的纠责，也是时候了节。
听说彻底的痛，能够彻底的醒来。。。
我曾让自己彻底的伤心，好让自己彻底的醒来，
但也只是在逼自己。。 。
但当我看见了你的眼神，我却自愿的，醒过来了。。 。
曾经躲在被窝里静静的哭。。。嘴里还念着你的名字。。 。
但原来我念的。。 。
是一个过去。。 。
是一个怀念。。 。
是一个不存在的人。。 。

samuel is keep growing and i miss him so so so much, don know whether he still remember me or not? haha, and my mom is damn happy to be a high-tech-housewife

it was an amazing night and it really make me wanna dance!!