曾经有个朋友告诉我，她偶尔会打给以前的男友，电话通了，她不会说话，只是想听听前男友的声音，一解思念之愁。。。这种行为完全反映了人多情的一面，与放不开有一点点的不一样。这点我明白，我们都属同一星座，我们都是多情得有一点泛滥。。。我们都会一一记起过去，但始终会觉得，忘记总比记得好。。。

也有一个朋友告诉我，她和男友的性爱时间，地点，甚至套套都是她一手安排，原因无它，“因为我要。”她潇洒地说。。。果然是豪迈，忍不住敬她一杯酒。。。

我也有一个朋友，她向来不奢望有个小开男友，好让自己尝一尝少奶奶的滋味，他反而觉得靠自己会比较实际， 而另一个朋友，总是希望有一个富裕的小开能从天掉下来。。。后来两人的际遇截然相反，前者去了美国念书，还交了一个律师男友，而后者却夜夜深歌，至今仍单身。。。

事情总是，你越想，就越不给你。。。

这一段日子，我学会了珍惜眼前人，事物与所得，少一点怨恨，多一点体谅多一点关怀。。。

今天，他跟我说了“天长地久”这四个字。。。对，就是这句又可怕又动听的话，这话从一个金发绿眼的人说出口，我心中真的有很大的o/s, "你到底明不明白什么是天长地久“？人长大了，对事情的看法也变了。。。没那么执著，对于这些太动听的话，我相信这一刻是真的，只是不长久，毕竟人真的会变。只要此刻是真的，就够了。。。

终于。。。我能够安静的好好写一下我的心情。。。
常常有满脑子的画想要写，只是一直没有这样的时间，只因为太忙了，对，忙着恋爱。
简简单单的一个人，是经典的平凡人，dump dump 的，chubby的，只是金发绿眼而已。。。
李安导演拍完《色。戒〉后曾经说过一句话，“电影一部一部的拍下去，路也一步一步的走回来”。一句多么有道理的话。。。（李安导演从文艺片起家，后来进军好莱坞，拍了数多武装片，最后却以文艺片或得荣誉）
曾经多么想要把头发染色，现在却觉得只有黑发最顺眼。。。
以前喜欢的对象都要长得好看，富裕，但经过了许多不堪的过去，原来我只希望一个傻傻的人好好爱我。坦白说，经过那段让我一夜长大的恋情后，我几乎没有遇到一个像样的人，只因我一直想要找一个比他还要条件好的人，我越找，却越迷失。。。
曾经去算过塔罗牌，那个臭gipsy说我会有很多段姻缘，但没有一个好结果。
我还真的又被他诅咒到，真是他妈的！
过去的日子，我只是空虚的走过，只因没有依靠。。。
却不小心遇到这位。。。也不知道该怎样形容他，一个热爱中国文化的瑞典人，平时最爱与老人家chill out,最喜欢的明星是王菲，（她妹妹更劲爆，偶像是ayumi),还真的有点另类。
跟他去见过那些老人家一次，老人家对他都非常的好，我想是因为他的善良吧！
坦白说，我是个非常崇洋的人，他却跟我相反，我最想往欧州的浪漫，他却喜欢大陆。
可是因为它，我开始认识中国，开始发现他的好。。。
他给我的感觉是很单纯，好学，（只是我真得很不喜欢他学福建话）。但我呢？坦白说，我真的不是走纯情路线的人。可是跟他在一起的感觉，真的又被他的乐天感染。人也变得没有那么多怨恨。。。
约会的地点更是劲爆，他最喜欢约我在小印度吃咖喱饭，china town的肉骨茶，等等另类的地方。可是却非常的好吃。。。（我只能说，我中了爱情的毒^^)
曾经想要的很多，失去的更多。。。但躺在他怀里，我却拥有了全世界。

累了，下次再说吧。。。

突然心里满满的。。 。

she is the way too beautiful

these angels rock!!

lingering between every beautiful stranger on the street,
i enjoy the every scenes i see today,
its crazy, its surreal,
your breath is being chipped away.
i don need u.
i quit of clinging to fairytale ideals,
then again, whoever said that the feeling would last forever?
falling in love is akin to taking a drug.
it takes time to quit.
it is what it is,
time kills memories.
and i wonder y dont we hav 'delete' and 'save' in our mind.
lying on a stranger's shoulder,
the feelin is good if u put yrself in it.
my security, my fears. . . i've felt it all.

that love is guarantee a marriage will last?
that marriage is no guarantee love will last?
huh. . . . who knows.

i found my new roost.

10 Rules of Life that I try to remember:


1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period. Work out. Use your muscles or lose them.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work”.
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.

曾经坦然地接受了分手，但是如果要接受对方已不再爱你了的话，这毕竟是两回事。。。
分手可以有很多理由，他不一定不再爱你，他可能还有一些牵挂，他可能也一样舍不得。 。 。但如发现对方开始冷淡了，不再珍惜你了，哪种程度的接受，又比分手来得痛。
有个朋友跟我说，他下个月就要和她那在一起一年多的男朋友订婚，我心里有种漠然的沉静。曾经看许多情侣踏入教堂时，坦白说，我并没有诚心祝福，反而心中有许多疑问，“这年头还有人结婚吗?" "他们又几时离婚？”。。。 但听到这位朋友的喜讯时？心中却是羡慕。。。到底找到一个精神寄托的感觉是怎样的呢？把下半辈子交给一个人的感觉又是怎样的呢？（或需未必只交给一个人），毕竟托付终身是一件demanding but rewarding得事，女人要的，也不就是有个可以傻得愿意照顾他一辈子的人，有谁喜欢迈入中年却还要在努力赚钱养自己呢？爱钱的女人，真地会把男人吓跑。曾经爱钱如命的samantha(我姐），现在还真的有几分女人味。。。很多人努力结婚，也有很多人努力离婚，因为女人青春有限，趁早发现对方不是mr.right也是件好事，大可将剩下的姿色再睹一把，也不愿意把最在乎的幸福就此糟塌。爱情讲的是浪漫，婚姻讲的是现实，所以有些女人就会说他宁愿永远谈恋爱都不要踏入教堂，但相信我，没有几个女人可以像张曼玉那样，这把年龄仍然那么elegant and charming的。在我大哥的婚礼上，我妈竟然哭成泪人，我爸也笑的见牙不见眼，而我心中的o/s是，（拜托！你们两个竟然跟我上演这种戏码，也太经典了吧！）。可是十年的爱情长跑终于来到了尾声，的确令人感动。（这也令我想起我想起一位中学读了九年的学生上台领毕业证书的时候，全场接近疯狂的欢呼！）
也不知道为什么在这里写起男女专栏来，只是突如其来的喜讯有给我带来很大的感触，婚姻给我的感觉像是巴黎的乞丐，虽然什么都没有，但起码天天可以看到浪漫的铁塔，我也能很啊Q的幸福。。。诚心希望她能够幸福。

曾活在混沌中怨恨不幸，因不幸而沮喪，因沮喪而看不清前方。為了走下去，我從學著不想，到學著遺忘。無奈越要忘記，就越是揮之不去。諷刺的是想抓緊的，卻偏偏抓不住。
在乎他們不在乎的、在乎他們的不在乎、在乎不被在乎。在乎太多，感覺失去的更多。因失去而學會了珍惜，奈何越是珍惜的，卻越容易失去。

i live,
with my confidence in believing. . .
but seem like beautiful is avoiding me,
exhausted,
not only my body, but also my spirit. . .
many people spend so much time doing wat they must do
tat they don hav enough time for doing wat they love to do.
give me a sec of light,
cos its too dark
tat i couldn't find they way out. . .

hola!!

to lychee,
accident happens always and i totally don feel like angry at all, on the contrast, its kind of a huge relief for me in a way and i need not hiding anything underneath my smile anymore. . . sometimes i really find myself pegionholed and sruggled in digging myself out from the hole, its absolutely crappy cos if u r my friends, its harmless for me to explore all the hidden secrets, if u ain't my friends, i don even hav to bother. try to keep the secrets if u care about me, although sometimes i hav nothing to do with yr intention but at least i'll be true to myself. countless reason for hiding the secrets but i somehow feel like tats no point to make everything confidential until all yr friends havin a hard time open yr heart. its not known wat i'm writing tis for, but, at least, i'm clean, and integrity.

l.o.v.e
kiv. . .

I’m my act
I wrote all my dreams on a paper
I wrote all my feelings on it
I wrote my days
I wrote…
But my paper is still blank

I counted all the stars in the sky
I counted my fingers too
I counted my days
I counted…
I’m still counting

I saw the beauty of nature
I saw the falling sun
I saw my days
I saw…
I forgot what I saw

I cried my missing years
I cried my sorrows
I cried my days
I cried…
I laughed at my cry

I listened to the glory of music
I listened to my angry voice
I listened to my days
I listened…
I listened to myself

I am what I act…

i'd just finished my first white-collar day, and i can't believe i got the full mark in the quiz tat held on our orientation, cos its actually quite difficult as all other candidates also couldn't get it, wow! the entire staff is considered friendly and always put on their smile, maybe tats the reason y i like to work at bank which i'd never imagined i will work at, anyway, i hope this feeling last longer.

relying is such a horrible thing for me,
if i could turn back my time,
i wish not to learn it.
everytime i said im bored,
i was actually not tat bored.
just wan to let u know,
at the moment,
this sec,
this situation,
i need u. . .
and u always said i feel bored bcos i hav nothin to do,
of cos i know,
but cant u just said sth without sanity?
i know how to kill time if i was bored,
but the reason y i'm telling u tat,
its bcos i wish u will stay by my side,
a bit longer. . .

lovely day. . .





i'm heartless, thats y i was wearing such a big heart.~*
o/s:my new hair style, just like a school boy.

again. . . i got tis feelin somehow. .
like the whole family is gonna split into pieces,
i heard the words "divorce" just now. . .
out from my brother's mouth, to his wife.
it such a wrack for every women i believe,
when this words is said,
means tat u've a thought on it,
no matter how harmless u might be,
u did say it. . .
sometimes, i hate my brother so much,
i just cant wait to slap him and kick him and. . .urgh!
he is a complete trouble maker for me,
but im just not willing to meet such a circumstances.
whatever, i hav nothing to do with it,
and i can't help anything........

its so funny today, my dad and i were sitting at the sofa, i was reading my mag and he was reading his newspaper, and suddenly he asked for a favor, "erm. . . could u help me to iron all my tops? cos i don know how to do ironing." lol~~~ its so hilarious and i couldn't stop myself laughing. haha, sigh. . . every men just like a kiddo when their wives wasn't there.

success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.