u wont believe it. . .all the things i hav done

dating with veronica. . .

每当我不开心时，总会想起不开心的事情。 。 。

人总是不会珍惜眼前所拥有的东西，

这一点我明白。 。。

付出的越多，得到的越少。。。

要做到不怕付出真的需要勇气。

付出的越多，

会累。。。

付出得越少，



怕会忏愧。 。。

我只是一个渴望得到爱的小孩，

却一直遇到挫折。

也开始厌倦假扮坚强。。。

不是每个人都愿意陪你走到永远，

难道。。。你不明白??

只要曾经爱过。

也算满足吧。

但为什么你却不明白?

讨厌你的自私，

也明白你的自私。。。

讨厌我的坚持，

却喜欢我的坚持。 。 。

我答应过自己不准哭，

可是刚刚却苦了。。。

一幕幕触景伤情的画面让我不能坚强。。。

我相信我会没事的。

只是很想放纵一下一直坚强的自己。

你一定要比别人更爱自己，

没有人会比自己更爱自己。

知道吗?

God needs the Devil to make a man worthy of Heaven.

Otherwise, who will teach man about whats Bad if God teaches only about whats Good.

Maybe thats why Evil would never be destroyed completely..

it was not meant to be.

We constantly take life for granted when the sun shine's upon our days.

When the hail storm arrives,

it then becomes human to seek shelter.

What if there is no shelter?

men
always
remember
love
because
of
romance
only

wishing on the star

uultimately, its still the usual sleepless night.

and the fact is. . .i enjoy it.

kind of self-indulgence actually,

but i like being awake at night. . .

its silence. . . motionless. . .

tats no other reasons for me to stay up so late,

but i will realise tat i t shouldnt be like tis when i saw me eye back and pimples.

ha. . .

被人牵着的感觉，我也承试过。 。 。

但这一次却少了一种安全感，

因为不知道对方的想法。 。 。

射手座是没有耐心的星座，这一点我承认。 。 。

可是

我却一直压抑着自己。 。 。

still, im remaining the mood for waiting. . .

the more u ignore me, the more painful i can get,

walking around aimlessly like a lifeless shell. . .

and saw a lot of stranger. . . but u. . .

i knoe i'm such a fool for u. . .

maybe im not as good as u think,

so do u. . .

its just my fascinating imagination. . .

i'm waiting for u. . .

the pass isn't die, it even isn't pass

我相信总有一天，我们都会醒过来。

还蛮惊呀的，我竟然对你所说的话还有感觉。。 。

我想你应该是寂寞吧，才会对我有所眷恋。 。 。

我爱着的。。 。是从前的安全感。

但过了，就是一种负荷。。 。

你不再是我的。。你我都需要明白。

是你放不下我，还是我放不下你？

我不可能永远都在等你，就像你不在等我一样。。。

本来两个人一起手牵手走的路，只剩下我一个人。

你能明白吗？

我们都是很好的人，为什么要受伤害？

觉得冷的时候，我多么想躲在你的怀抱里，

可是你去了哪里？

你却拥几通电话，把我勾了回来。

你不会知道我用了多久时间去忘记你。。。

你怎会知道？

。。。
感情是我最弱的地方，

希望你能把最后的尊严留给我。。。好吗？

就当作分手的礼物，

让我活得快乐一点吧！。 。 。

i heard it from a book. . .
u can memorize all your memory since u were a baby,
it makes u feel like. . .
u couldnt bury some of yr memory which is something u r not willing to remember,
ya, it is!
i keeep thinkin tat the pass is no longer exist in my mind anymore,
but tis self-opinion is ruinned when the tears was still shedding on my cheek. . .

a present for dvon. . .

But it’s almost symbolic how we started out with a film and then finished with one.
It’s something beautiful between us,
even if there is no more marriage.

Maggie Cheung

maggie is one and only, in terms of the mix of beauty, performance and style.

and this is the third times i watched tis movie, and still, likewise,

i have some deep thought after finish watching it. . .

life is strupple,

but the existance of motivation is playing an utter vital role in our life,

its horrible when u found tat all the things has gone

and u really don know who u should rely on. . .

does it help if u cry?

i used to be tat coward

hiding inside my bed clothe, keep sayin how pathetic i am.

but is tat any angel falling from the sky?

and saying ' its ok boy, everything will be alright'

i still have to go out for dinner no matter it was raining.

i still hav to control my feelin when evrybody is changing,

i still hav to go to clinic when i was sick,

i still try to forgive them when all their curiousity has gone,

i still hav to firure out everything when being stuck in obstacles,

but im so proud of myself,

cos i still believe when all the thing is just freakin me out,

i will still be the one like i used to be,

nothing will break me down.

sing a love song for me

Every time I must say good-bye to you
I feel so down and sigh
Every night all I do is think of you
You stole my heart away
Didnt know how true love means to me Until now
Didnt know why lovers cry
Couldnt wait to see your smiling face anymore
Every time you must face the restless world
Do you remember me
And whenever you need a gentle word
Why dont you call me up
I am the one for you when things get rough times are hard
Dont you know just what I mean
Couldnt wait to hear your endless dreams Come to me
Sing a love song for me
Sing for me a serenadeMake happiness happenSing a love song for me
Sing for me a serenade
And leave loneliness alone
Every time I will say good luck to you
I hope you will hold me tight
Every night all I do is see you through
You set my heart on fire
Didnt know how true love works on me Until now
Didnt know how high we fly
Couldnt wait to see your smiling face anymore
Sing a love song for me
Sing for me a serenade
Make happiness happen
Sing a love song for me
Sing for me a serenade
And leave loneliness alone

its almost two weeks,
ive started my student life in kl. . .
well, i would rather say something good instead of the down side of satyin here.
hot, dirty, hazy, stuffy, bad traffic. . .(and more. . . )
stupid car driver just press their horn without any reason,
maybe is kind of venting out their frustration, but i think its nonsense.
airless, ppl just like suckin out their life in every minute,
i used to be the one, yeah, i always hate my previous. . .
there r no any bizzarely amazing thing happenned on me.
ppl just like to throw a weird glance on u,
tats wat i found tat all the klian like to do. . .
dont ppl think tat its incourteous?
swollow minded. . .
there is really irritating!!!

there r things tat we know tat we know,

there r known unknowns.

tat is say there r things tat we don know we don know,

but there r also unknown unknowns.

there r things we do not know we don know,

yes. . .

we just don. . .

im playing with the fire,
just watch me burn. . .

Hold up... hold on... don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile... Shine on... Don't be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm.

Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up... Come on... why you scared
You'll never change what been and gone

Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die

Honestly what will become of me
I don't like reality
It's way too clear to me
But really life is daily
We are what we don't see
We missed everything daydreaming

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

Travelling I always stop at exits
Wondering if I'll stay
Young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets it and I don't cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

And the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day until the feeling went away
And the clouds were dropping and the...
The rain forgot how to bring salvation
The dogs were whistling a new tune barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die

no doubt, its a real puppy!!!

sorry. . .
thank u. . .
are these words really important?
are these words mean 'manner'?
or polite? courteous? respectful?
i think it just a hypocritical show of affection. . .
an iron hand in a velvet glove. . .
i hate sorry. . .
cos it means tat u have done something wrong,
and u are asking for forgiveness. . .
should i forgive u?
y should i forgive u?
i hate thank u. . .
cos it means tat i have been helping u to achieve your aim. . .
y should i do tat?
y should i sacrifice myself?
y dont u be ME?
y cant i be U?
y u wan to say sorry?
y u wan to say thank u. . .

a walk to remember. . .

1:42am. . .
I was being in a farewell circumstance a couple of minutes ago. . .
D have to go bk to Singapore tomorrow, the same day of Qin birthday. . .
D came to her house, to be with Qin until the last moment,
They gave each other a silent embrace,
it is better than a thousand sweet words, yet,
maybe there are really a thousand words existing in their heart,
but they have choose another way of conversation to reassure each other. . .
They gazed on each other,
still, wordless but understanding. . .
And I become a the most smartest “love station DJ’,
Playing the most romantic love song tat I have in my pc. . .
Suddenly,
I heard Qin was sobbing. . .
and D was trying to console her. . .
but the fact always is the cruelest thing tat human being have to confront. . .
D have to go,
And the only thing tat Qin can do is. . .not to urge D to stay on,
I think it’s the better way to make them feel better
So do Qin,
No choice to be choose,
No right to choose,
But still have to accept the decision tat is not fair for them,
Nothing is fair in tis world,
As long as human should always know how to deceive themselves. . .
To make life easier,
Reduce sorrow. . .
I do admit tat,
Im a loser in the state of love,
but I do hope tat everybody would have their happy ending. . .
their own happiness. . .
true love is always being with u,
u will have it,
when u believe it. . .

Monday, 11 September, 2006 8:26 PM

dear keith...

i think you very busy today....dont get so stressed k..
i'm sorry didnt reply your msgs last weekend.
i didnt do it on purpose k...
you are stil my precious..my number one fren..
and i hope you not angry at gor gor k...
even if you angry, i will let you beat me but i will stil hug you saying sorry...=)
you got my msg today? i use my fren phone...
i haven reload...waiting my sailo reload for me...haha...
if convenient la..
if cannot, nvm la, tell me tonight k.
i'll reload tml... i feel like calling you tonight...
see la later...been missing you so much and i lotsa things to catch up with my dear sailo oso rite? hehe...check your yahoo mail triangel20@yahoo.com k.
i send you sth there.
hope you can pplay it and listen to meet and cheer up smile hear it.
don forget ur dinner k little keith.
dailo always think of you worry about you...
dont make urself sick k..if not i will xintong...
this is not mere sweet talk k. i really care bout keith de...
cuz you very special person to me..
remember when you ar eso down and feel alone,
you stil have me..ted will always stand by ur side..
i'll try my best to carry my sacred duty as keith's dailo,
keith's fren.. muak.

my dear dailou, so sweet!!

like usual, i have my brunch alone at some bizzare cafe. . .
typical keith, ordered a bowl of noodle and hot drink.
surprisingly, i finished my meal without complaining anything. . .

its 3:47am now, little keith still stick with da pc and not willing to sleep, not sleepy actually, and thinking a lot of useless stuff. . .i've been fall into a state of unconscioness the whole day, and instead of ' brunch', i should invest a new word which combined lunch and dinner to become one, maybe is 'lunner',(haha), totally crazy, not willing to sleep at this moment and just wanna said this kind of lame joke? wat a problematic student we have. . .
i dont even think too much, times not allowed me to dream my dream, and make a wild guess for my future, just attempt to solve all the frustrated problem ASAP, no more poverty, no more starvation, no more silent. . .lack of energy to figure out all the thing in once, sigh, im just XXX wannabe, too many stuff have to be done, too little motivation i have, how could u bare to ask a little kid to grow up in one morning? obstacle is essential for us to grow up. . . tats wat i cant deny, my imagination is far away beyond my mess circumstance, right, its quite sarcastic. . .
wat am i supposed to do at this moment? fall asleep in 1 minute? go out and buy cigarattes? or partying out my life? huh. . .who knows. . .

dancing in the dark, like nobody watching. . .out of sort the whole day. . .

suddenly

lonely keith is missing his frens. . .

guilty

im not a good son,
not a good student as well. . .
so what would i be?
lifeless body, struggling with life. . .
life is beautiful?. . .maybe. . .
there is a lot of down, a lot of oops in my life,
just like a roller coaster,
but ultimately,
i still alive,
it doesnt mean tat i am brave enough to overcome all the things,
perhaps, it because of i still hav the ability to smile,
to laugh out loud,
to deceiving myself. . .
komenasai. . .
for everything. . .
komenasai,
i shouldnt let u down. . .
komenasai. . .

my student life. . .huh
a vague impression. . . full of stranger. . .with branded bag, and weird name. .
still wondering, is this wat i wan?, but times not allowed me to hav a minute to figure it out. . .
a fuckin mouth keep disturb my thinking. . .is my teacher!! my deep impression towards tat bitch is, an awful mess about her hair, bad fashion taste, sound awful, and with a deep eye bag! tat is!!
and, still, im the one still like standing outside of their world but trying to catch up their step,
its not about am i willing to catch up?
its about i hav no choice to stunt at there still. . .
and the conclusion is. . .
god bless me!!!

to: lost puppy

when there is a way,

there is a will. . .

u will, when u believe. . .

when i feelin small
when i cold outside i dont know who i should believe,
and when i needed someone special just by my side,
who was there?
i believe,
someday i will love,
someone who by my side,
someday, my special one will come alone,
i pray everyday. . .