Thursday, August 31, 2006

runaway



i ran away from my parents arm. . .throw down some bad words
i keep running, as fast as i can. . .
i keep crying, like nobody watching. . .
i keep looking for cab, but nobody stop. . .
i feel bad to make u all feel upset. . .
but sorry, u all did it the same too. . .
how long can i stay here?
where is my next destination?
at least,
where im gonna go in the next minutes?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

at last, i got wat i wan. . .


When I look in your eyes
I can see that you Want to be with me
but you're so scared
And I don't know what to say or do
But the tears keep falling from your eyes
And I know that Times won't change my love
And I can't do nothing to keep you
Oh, I'll give my love oh when I hold you tight

Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that I can't change my love
Take my love all through the night...
As the hours pass away

You think that love ain't here to stay
Feel a beat from your chest
But you don't give doubt a moment's rest
You dream the future and all you see is dark
Listen to your heart, baby, the truth will set sparks
Now I'll give my love

oh when I hold you tight
Give my love through kisses oh so bright
And you know that I can't change my love
Take my love all through the night

Sunday, August 27, 2006


even though the gods are crazy,
even though the stars are blind,
if u show me real love baby
i'll show u mine
by paris
if love is a game, these are the rules.

happiness is a present attitude, not a future condition.
dont be afraid your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
life treats u as u treat life...

faith is to believe wat u do not see,
the reward of tis faith is to see wat u believe...

the future belongs to thase who believe in the beauty of their dreams

sorry. . .

i was havin beer with my frens last night, and i received this three messages. . .
and i didnt reply anything. . .

  • i really feel sorry about it, sorry. . .
  • the only word i can say is sorry, im so sorry. . .
  • let keep everything to a good memory at least we happy before, i really don wan to lose u can we still be fren i really don wan to lose u. i can treat u like my brother i will always take care of u. . .

Saturday, August 26, 2006

its over. . .


finally, u said the words i couldn't say. ..

it doesnt mean tat we hav to be together forever just because of u have decided for not going to us. . .
we are not suitable for each other. . .
its all my fault, i truely know tat, im sorry. . .
u r always my bb. . . my only bb. . .
i still can treat u well, like we were yesterday. . .
im so tired of telling lie on u. . .
i must be the most hated one right now. . .
don cry. . .pls don cry. . .
u deserve a better one. . .
im not good enough for u. . .
im sorry. . .

there is no reason for us to start a relationship, but there are a thousand excuse to end up a relationship. . .
maybe its all about my foolish, childish, wilful, stuborn, careless, sensitive. .
but sorry, i rather let the answer flooded in the air. . .and im not going to explore it,
cos i already torn. . .

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

love.love.love....




我一直希望飞翔,
从很小的时候,
于是常常梦见自己伸开手臂就能上升,
但是即使在梦里, 也不是那么的轻松,
手臂毕竟不是翅膀, 没有羽毛兜不住风,
但是我还是摇摆着企图向更高远的天空。
有一天我发现自己走的好远,
身边几乎已经没有什么人,
这旅程寂寥而美丽, 时而绝望,时而感动,
如同透明的雨,呼啸的风,
于是我还是希望可以飞,
那样就可以一日千里,自由自在, 从别人的视野里一下子无影无踪。
后来我遇到一个人,
如故事般产生莫名的感情,
除了欣喜珍惜还有一点期许,
我忽然发现除此之外什么都可以舍弃,
于是我以长生不死换取白头到老,
我用五百年修行换取平凡一生,
我用无边法术换取满身尘埃,
再用洞察先机换取茫然无知。
忽然我得到一份礼物, 他陪我到了高高的山顶,
我闭上眼睛开始满怀憧憬,
原来是两个翅膀,
我欢乐的跃下山崖,
刹那发现那两个翅膀都是左边,
于是我半飞半坠落,
隐约间听见他说对不起。
我愿意相信这对不起是因为不小心,
而不是因为故意, 有时候真相很没用,
但是不是总能很好的掩饰。
我们不该责怪任何人, 除了自己,
还好我也不遗憾,
就从粉身碎骨的这一刻开始。

by veronica

Sunday, August 20, 2006

tis is the third time i read tis story. . .and still, tearin. . .
and i think i wont read it forth. . . April 06
有故事的人
那天, 和亮一起到Starbucks去。

两个受伤的灵�­�, 在夜晚十点钟的咖啡厅都在保持�­暂的沉默。

感情太好, 同� �星座的我们都从对方的身上看到自己对感情的执著, 我们很轻易的就把对方的悲伤指出来, 却刻意的掩饰了自己的落寞。

也许我们就像是两面镜�­�在互望, 所看见的只是赤裸裸的躯体, 两个焦躁不安的灵�­�, 躲在洒脱的背后哽咽着。

我们都听见彼�­�抽泣的声音, 但是也只是静静的, 给对方一个心灵的微笑。

亮告诉我他饿了, 我们决定离开。

一路上, 我们都在说些不知所谓的笑话。亮走在我的前头, 我们仿佛没有性别之别, 我没有记得过他是个男生, 他也没有把我是女生这回事当作一回事,他不会有担心女生需要保护的心态, 对他而言, 我也许是比一般女生给他更多的看法。 他也许觉得我是坚强的, 也许他更需要我的保护。 � 为他比起我, 在感情上的事还更要稚嫩许多。

他点了�­�良爱吃的炒猓条, 那是我给他的推荐, 其实我也吃过比那一摊更美味的, 但是, 也许是�­�良也喜欢吃的缘故, 我就很容易去说服自己和朋友, 这一摊的炒馃条, 是很好吃的。

第一次看亮把整碟炒馃条都吃完了, 虽然一直不停的埋怨很油腻。

我突然觉得�­�良是个很容易相处的男生, 只要是他喜欢吃的, 他都不会嫌东嫌西的, 和他在一起, � 会发现他什么都ok的。他唯一的坏� 惯, 就是每次都爽约。 说真的, 我真的� 为他放我鸽�­�而一直不停的�­。这些是他都不知道的, 在他的面前, 我很少会用眼泪这一招的, 一个男人若是真的在乎� , � 只要一皱眉他都会很心疼的。如果他不再把� 当作宝贝, � 的眼泪对他来说只是幼稚及� 人的�­�器。

亮和我一� �, 在感情上都是属于积极型的, 若是和对方的关系开始出现暧昧不明的感觉, 我们都会开始显得慌乱。 也许对对方来说, 我们很烦人, 但是, 我们要知道的, 只是结果而已。 我们不喜欢一直呆在暧昧里头, 有种被当作后备轮胎的感觉。

如果真的不是最爱我的, 请让我走, 不要骗我, 不要说任何一句爱我的话, 我害怕自己会忘了自己的身份, 而对� 索求更多我� 法得到的东西。明白么?

++++ 离题了++++

和亮很和平的吃晚餐, 我说的话也不多,多数都在听他说, 他每和我叙述一件他和他的故事, 我都会想起我和之前的男朋友们的回忆。发现每一个男人都曾经是很好的, 只是那份�­情已经不在。就像亮, 曾经那么深刻的被一个很爱自己的人爱着,自己也从本来的还好, 到喜欢,然后是很爱很爱的那种程度, 两个人本来在一起好好的, 每天都很快乐, 但是, 一旦出现了另一个人, 很多时候, 故事都会改变。 就像本来是春天的天气, 突然间变得炎�­起来。

亮的故事就是个很好的例�­�。

他和他的爱人发生的事情, 其实很普通的情节, 都是� 为出现了第三者。对我来说, 第三者的出现, 是很考验的, 对方通常都会喜欢新鲜的感觉, 而把本来对� 的专注给了另一个人。

但是, 亮的故事和多数人的故事是不能相提并论的, � 为他们要比其他人更勇敢的面对一切。
这� �艰难的感情, 我也是面对过的, 所以我也很能够体谅亮的心情。

我第一次看见亮为了一件事而变得不像自己,我突然想起他也曾经告诉过我, 我一旦爱上一个人时, 都变得不像自己了。现在, 我觉得他就好像是个预言家, 把自己将来会发生的事先告知我。

我一直都很清楚地记得, 那个晚上, 我第一次看见这� �不安的亮。
- 第一次求人的亮
- 第一次这么沉默的亮
- 第一次这么耐心的亮
- 第一次这么� 人的亮

我觉得他所做的一次和以前我说做过的好像, 好像。我没有埋怨他让我到了凌晨五点钟都不能睡觉的事, 只是静静的, 在他的身边陪他喝着闷酒, �­�待一个已经不晓得还在不在乎自己的人出现。

整个�­�待的过程�­, 常达四个小时多。 亮把我的两� 储值卡都打到变成零, 我其实是很心痛的(储值卡), � 为我发现在自己每次都很小心使用的数额在�­�­� 分钟内被“消耗殆尽”。甚至也不晓得那个人究竟会不会出现。 这是我觉得最不值得的地方。

当然, 到最后, � 为我的协助下, 目� �终于驾着一辆小� 鹿出现了。

我很识相的先到另一个角落去, 不再打扰相爱的他们。

回来的时候, 那个人嘱咐我好好看着亮, 不让他驾快车。 那个时候, 我能感觉为什么亮这么依赖他了。 他拥有亮一直所没有的体贴, 亮从他的身上发现的优点当然还有很多, 所以亮对他的眷恋我也能了解。

两个星期后, 亮告诉我他们分了, 这是一点都不意外的, 对我来说。

现在的亮已经放下了, 只是偶尔还会想念他。

我想, 我们所想念的, 不是那个人的名�­� , 而是, 那些相爱的记忆。

我们想念那个人的手的温度, 想念对方的拥抱, 想念对方曾经那么那麽认真看着自己的眼神。
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

夜深了, 亮回家去了, 我也 为自己买了一� 半夜场的戏票。

看别人的爱情故事。

然后把自己的故事, 隐没在黑暗里。
by veronica. . .
a free thinker

a creative director

a modela fashion designera musicianits better late then never. . .

just let me be empty,

and dreamin' my dream. . .

me, myself and mine


evolution. . .
my keith. . . wat i promise u is lov u forever, nobody does it like i do, cherish yr eberything and make u happy all the time, but wat hav i done? u r not happy. . .where is my keith who is always smile like sunshine? where is my keith who is always full of hope in the future? where. . .
here i tell u a story. . .
there is a girl who always hope to catch the ladybugs, she went to the forest, walk through all the obstacles, and reached her destination. . .
she walk over the forest. . .find it in every corner, carefully. . .concentrate in every every motionless insects. . .and. . .exhausting. . .despair. . . hopeless. . .and give up. . .
she is so tired and fall asleep under a tree unconciously. . .
one hours has passed, the little girl woke up and surprisingly realised tat. . .there is a ot of beautiful, fascinating, red lady bugs around her. . .
by: angel

Saturday, August 19, 2006

my heaven. . . its quite simple,
white sand, blue sky, deep blue sea,
and to be with my love


i just a little boy in tis world, playing the role tat i should play, not a prince, not a beggar, not a super star on the stage, not a milionaire with so many maid, but i just a normal, full of imagination teenager. . . like a beggar of love, like a aimless voyager, like a stray cat, like a lost puppy, like a cloud, like a hedgehog, like a fox. . . tats me!





i could be the one. . .


at last, u didnt call me. . . not even a message. . .
sorry to my devotion, for not retaining my passion, to give u my all. . . but, perhaps, im sick of waiting for your every answer. . every first move, stupid me should stop betting on a miracle tat would never been happenned. . .
i should said tat, the main thing tat holds us back is fear, dare not to love me is one of the reason tat makes u always feel insecurity, and so do i. . .
its not the first time i cried behind yr coldness. . . instead of voice out wat i wanted, i prefer swallow all my desire, my hope, my compromise, my self-imagination. . . .my happiness existance. . . maybe just in fairyland, u replied tat i always made a lot of wild guesses, huh, i do really hope so. . . who knows? god knows. . .
i hate to live in the vanity of pleassure, its so unbearable. . . the mood is infectious, i hav no right to influnce the mood of the others but u. . . depends on your responsibility, depends on . . . how deep is your love to me, sorry it make me depress and i couldnt care less. . .
bb, im not happy, did u realise tat? . . .

BIZARRE LOVE TRIANGEL

Every time I think of u, I get shock right through into a book blue,
It’s not a problem of mine but it’s a problem I find,
Living a life that I can’t leave behind,
That’s no sense in telling me the wisdom of a fool won’t set u free,
But that’s a way let it go and that’s what nobody know.
And everyday my confusion grows.
Every time I see u falling I get down on my knees and pray,
I’m waiting for that final moment. . .
U said the words that I can’t said,
I feel fine and I feel good, I feel like I never should.
Whenever I get this way, I just don know what to say. . .
Why can’t we be ourselves?
Like we were yesterday. . .
I’m not sure what this could meant,
I don’t think you’re what u seem,
I do admit to myself,
That if I heard someone else,
They will never see just what we’re meant to be. . . .
nobody home.....
i truly feel that how is the feeling of not willing to go home, I mean, not just only today. . .

of coz. . . I do miss my parents which r at the other side of ocean, how is the feeling when your brother vent his bad temper on u. . .i hate the feeling like being exhausting but still facing the embarrass circumstances. . . what the meaning of being at home, it should be warm, security, and. . . but definitely not like what I had met just now!
DREAM AS U WILL LIVE FOREVER, LIVE AS U WILL DIE TODAY
Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today." "The gratification comes in the doing, not in the results.""To grasp the full significance of life is the actor's duty; to interpret it his problem; and to express it his dedication. Being an actor is the loneliest thing in the world. You are all alone with your concentration and imagination, and that's all you have. Being a good actor isn't easy. Being a man is even harder. I want to be both before I'm done." quoted by....JAMES DEAN

I, James Byron Dean, was born February 8, 1931, Marion, Indiana. My parents, Winton Dean and Mildred Dean, formerly Mildred Wilson, and myself existed in the state of Indiana until I was six years of age. Dad's work with the government caused a change, so Dad as a dental mechanic was transferred to California. There we lived, until the fourth year. Mom became ill and passed out of my life at the age of nine. I never knew the reason for Mom's death, in fact it still preys on my mind. I had always lived such a talented life. I studied violin, played in concerts, tap-danced on theatre stages but most of all I like art, to mold and create things with my hands. I came back to Indiana to live with my uncle. I lost the dancing and violin, but not the art. I think my life will be devoted to art and dramatics. And there are so many different fields of art it would be hard to foul-up, and if I did, there are so many different things to do -- farm, sports, science, geology, coaching, teaching music. I got it and I know if I better myself that there will be no match. A fellow must have confidence. When living in California my young eyes experienced many things. It was also my luck to make three visiting trips to Indiana, going and coming a different route each time. I have been in almost every state west of Indiana. I remember all. My hobby, or what I do in my spare time, is motorcycle. I know a lot about them mechanically and I love to ride. I have been in a few races and have done well. I own a small cycle myself. When I'm not doing that, I'm usually engaged in athletics, the heartbeat of every American boy. As one strives to make a goal in a game, there should be a goal in this crazy world for all of us. I hope I know where mine is, anyway, I'm after it. I don't mind telling you, Mr. Dubois, this is the hardest subject to write about considering the information one knows of himself, I ever attempted."My Case Study" to Roland Dubois, Fairmount High School Principal, 1948


I have a colleague, she is. . . maybe I should say she is normal, but I think she had something what every girl want, so I can feel her beautiful which is from internal. . .i past her seat sometimes, and I always look at the pictures which are posted on where she can easily watch it when she just raised up her head, there r her new wedding picture, and still, is a beautiful bride and a gorgeous bridegroom. Something that always appear in fairyland. . .

I asked her a simple question, but it must always have a long answer by everyone, ‘ tell me a thing that your husband had done and really touch your heart”? and, of course, I can tell it must be a perfect smile appear on her face when she start thinking. . . she told it may such a simple thing for every women but her, she said that she has a bad habit, she wouldn’t bring an umbrella when she went out, once evening, after school, she started to be disturb when it was a heavy rain out there, and when she keep thinking how to figure it out, she realized that a man that she know him in depth was start approaching her, she was, undeniable, extremely surprise because he should be at his hometown(Penang) instead of being in Singapore, that is ten hours from Penang to Siangapore. . . .

It is raining today. . .and I keep walking around aimlessly, like a stray cat. . .huh! quite suit me. I cant put it into word, a simple thing always can truly warm our heart, I used to be one of them, I still can remember it was a raining night, and yet, I felt utter despair and exhausting, u knocked my door, and sure, I still can feel that feeling which is already far away from me, I smiled inwardly, without a word, u walked into my kitchen, and cooked a bowl of instant noodle for me. . . I looked at that noodle, i. . .. . . huh, is a silent night, and I can understand that the mood is infectious, my tears warm my face, and so do your hand, I finished that noodle without saying anything but keep silence, I used to think that I was one of the most happiness people in this world, its not about the noodle, its about u can do me a favor when I was weak, fragile, I just need a hug when feeling cold, I just need a bowl of noodle when I was hungry, that’s all. . .

I wont blame that why u going to ruining my all, the main thing that holds me back is fear, I’m seem to be tired for betting on a miracle, I wont forget the noodle that really warm my heart, but. . .huh, the less is more, I’ m not going to ask for another food. . .

Maybe I’m just a blame of burn for you, maybe I’m not fit to use the word ( just a. . .), but, I won’t forget everything u gave me, but , sorry, I won’t forgive you, really, till the end of my life. . .not yet to be hated, maybe this is the way I can face all the truth. . .

When its raining, I start to think about the simple story that my colleague told me, of course, I do hope that someone will holding an umbrella in front of me when it was raining, but I think its not too bad to walking in the rain, every time the rain start to fall, a little bit excited, a little bit down, desirable, still remaining some hope, but in the end, I would said that I was proud to against all the fears, and walk through the rain. . . .
cheeky dog coffee!!
the last . . .
voyage. . .
kissing on the steet. . .
making the first move is kind od like jumping off a high rock ledge into a lake when u cant see the bottom. . . tis is wat the feelin i had when my last relationship going to the end, perhaps, i couldnt say a word to describe tis last romance, but, still, i appreciate it. . . .
a walk to memories, i still feel like. . . i cant put it into words. . evrytime i see those pic, not do in on purpose, but, its still a good feelin. . .
try to remember, when the grass was green. . .
try to remember, when the sky was blue. . .
try to remember, the kissin in melbourne. . .
try to remember, when drivin under the star. . .
try to remember, when i was being with u. . .
try to remember, when im still lovin u. . . .