determination and decision always come from every little things or words,
whos gonna believe tat an army.boy.look young man would have such mind set or, shall we called it being happy philosophy. . .
he was wondering y do i look moody tis morning, and i answered " just a lil bit monday blue", the answer seem unsincere enough obviously,
"come on! don be like tat buddy, everything comes from your mind!" he was pointing his head, and smile.
his response is undeniably true and inspiring. happy people make a decision for being happy inspite of their problems, they concentrate on wat they have, not on wat is missing, most importantly, he pointed out, our state of mind is determined by our own thoughts, not by outside circumstances. . .
i supposed happines is always surounding us and waiting for us to achieve, we tend to pospone happiness sometimes,
" i will be happy if i get my pay rise",
or "i will be happy if i got the latest LV totebag. . . ."
but are u sure u couldn't be happy without them?
the meaning of existance always lead to unknown. .
one of my friends told me, " i would seldom envy how wealthy people are, cos we both have the same body, same hand, same 24 hrs, its just tat i didnt put any effort in this 24 hrs, of cos i get nothing lastly. . ."
appreciate more,
blame less,
be happier. . .

也不只从何开始学會抽烟的。。。
还记得雯说过，他开始学会抽烟，是因为一个男人。他的前男友。。
没有特别的原因，只是很想知道当他抽烟时是在想什么的。。
抽着抽着，也不知道雯到最后有没有特别了解他的前男友，
只是静静的抽烟。
眼神似放空却凝重。。
想着雯的情形，和我有点雷同。。
我曾是个超讨厌烟客的人。
也常curse他们得肺癌，
所以说话还是不要下得那们狠。
我常常看着前男友抽烟时，
也会想要了解他为什么要抽烟，
到最后任性的吊起一根烟时。
他一定会拿掉，然后说，“不要坏坏”
过后的几次，我都会跟他讨烟，
其实我也不是很想抽烟，
只是很想听他带关心的对我说不。
还真的有够无聊的。。。
原来我只是渴望关心，
就好像有些女人明明能够站得很稳，
走路起来还是会假装不稳，
因为希望身边的男人会扶她一把。
道理因该是一样的。。 。
笨或聪明，对不一样的人有不一样的答案。
难得糊涂。。 。
这句话还真得很好用。
我和雯偶尔还是会抽烟，
不会特别怪谁。。。
相信雯也一样，
每件事都有它的原因。。。

don blame the player, blame the game. . .
quote by our edison chen~

the street became a lil bit lonely, people has gone to bed i guess. . . im sitting at my balcony and going to hav a lil chat with inside-of-me before going to bed. . . moody feelin stepped in silently without any sign,
i might get used to it for ages, life has turned out like how u treat it as, u r what u see r. . . i hav a big curiosity about how u think about me,
would u spare 3 secs on such an undecribeable person like me who still ringing u up for god sakes shamelessly? wat i hav expected wasn't yr prospect on me, or any
incredible promise. . . people might dont get it but i knew wat was i doing is just beggin a hope. . for me.
people changed, situation changed either, every moment i try to escape from myself, cos the true me has lied on me as well,
i fall asleep in the dark, and why do i wake up in the dark still?. . . perhaps i never wake up . . .stop it.
finished watchin movie with my brother a few hours ago, laugh insanely but my heart just doesnt seem the same with wat i've shown on my face, it seem like not
tat easy to shake those memories. . . i left my blue in my room, but there will always be there no matter how great my day was,
another thankful of my brother's passionate in tryin hard to open my heart although he eventually failed, blame it on me cos i've lost the key to open it.
i was questioning myself how long do i still wan to be the same again, cos i don wan to. . . badly, im alive, i should hav do whatever i wish for and get it done asap,
i hav a wish list, i still hav hope. . . somepeople might think im emotional but i think i hav more hopes than anyone else,
i know u can make it and make yourself proud, make it for your parents, for yourself, for a better u. . .

its not a sunny day in tis thanksgiving morning, a lil bit hazy with a lil bit lazy. . . mind is clear but the way is blur, something about this world doesn't seem right, but the crowded train make things clean than ever. life is going on. . .
how i wish i could sleep for a lil while. . . .

its been a while for me to let my emotional drown till. . . , is it wat mentally breakdown like? i find my leg is not belong to me after spending the whole afternoon shoppin around, i was lying on my bed, exhausted, made a few calls which i hav totally no idea to ring for, i must lost my mind to do such a cowardlike thing. . . and i called veron, soonly, she realised tat i was not in mood, she kept askin me why do i feel moody, she kept askin and askin, i was listening but not hearing a word, "don't cry". . . she sent me tears with just two words, doubtlessly, she took the last train to my place just to make sure everything is alright, yes, she was needed at tat moment but i find it guilty to let her worry. . . still the same, she appeared with a smiling face, like always, she would not ask me y, she would share u some joke before cut to the point. . . thankful for her kindness and thoughtful, but i really don know how to cry out my crap, would be great if i hav a new problem to share with, but crappy me still stick with the same old stuff. . . endless dissapointed. . . im suck